Wisconsin's "Defense of Marriage" Bill

n Tuesday, 7 November 2006, Wisconsin residents approved new language for its state constitution, approving what has been curiously called the Defense of Marriage Act. I am unclear from what we are defending marriage. I can only assume that were we to suddenly let homosexuals marry, then all heterosexual marriages would suddenly dissolve, leaving an oozing, pulsing puddle of red goo. Even more puzzling is what goes unmentioned in the bill. Apparently all anyone in Wisconsin needs in order to marry is a person of the opposite gender who is willing and of legal age. The two need not be in love, for the implication of the new bill is that it is gender, not love, that helps ensure a successful marriage. The two need not even be peaceful. Our state government does not prohibit persons with a history of domestic abuse (and we have plenty; in 2001, according to the Wisconsin Department of Justice’s Office of Crime Victim Services, the state experienced 27,454 reported incidents of domestic abuse, up 10% from 2000) from either getting or staying married. So we are not protecting marriage from violence. Perhaps we are protecting marriage from divorce, except that State Senator Jon Erpenbach, D-Middleton, has admitted that one-third of the Senate has been divorced or are currently in the process, including himself. So I am not sure what sacrosanct aspects of marriage our leaders feel gay unions threaten, or why they feel themselves qualified to even make such judgments. Certainly their own matrimonial records call into question their qualifications to attempt legislating marriage for others. Or maybe we are protecting marriage from Biblical abomination. Certainly the Bible contains enough injunctions against homosexuality; Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 are perhaps the least ambiguous passages. The first passage proclaims male homosexuality an abomination; the second, that any practitioner of homosexuality be put to death. Leviticus is full of sensible, happy rules. Among my favorites: 11:9-12, which states that eating anything from the sea that does not have fins and scales is an abomination; 15:19-28, which mandates that when a woman is menstruating, she must be put apart for seven days, and anything she touches is unclean, including anyone who touches her. After her period, she must bring two turtles and two pigeons to the local priest; 18:7, which tells us not to uncover the nakedness of our parents; 21:5, telling men not to make baldness upon their heads; 21:17-21, which wisely warns us that only certain people may offer the bread of their God; among those excluded are those with a broken foot, the blind, dwarfs, a man whose stones are broken, or anyone with a flat nose Essentially, Leviticus tells us that being homosexual is about the same as eating shrimp. Deuteronomy is pretty cool, too. The United States has a history of antimiscegenation laws, laws prohibiting two peoples of different races from marrying. In 1967 the Supreme Court ruled that “Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State.” I suspect that one day our current fear and anxiety surrounding same-sex marriages will seem as antiquated as the neanderthal legislation against interracial marriages. The new act will not deter two men who love each other or two women who love each other from living their lives together. And these same-sex couples, if they have the sense to love well, can enjoy a lifetime’s happiness, even while yelling echoes in the house next door where perhaps a man and woman, miserably but legally married, excoriate each other for their own failures and unhappinesses as their children cover their ears and hide behind bedroom doors. November 2006 * * * * * Postscript he darnedest thing. Just said goodbye to a visitor from the future. She came by for some Jello, but mentioned in passing that in her future world, the U.S. had passed legislation legalizing same-sex marriages. As a result, Marriage rates among heterosexuals remained the same Divorce rates among heterosexuals remained the same Domestic violence rates among heterosexuals remained the same Rush Limbaugh had been appointed Supreme Lord and Master of the entire United States. So I guess the critics were right—legalizing same-sex marriages will send us all to hell in a handbasket.

Related Links:
Straight Talk
Saving Marriage?
Sleeping With the Enemy

(Use this last site ironically. Tell your llegislators that you agree with these fine "pro-family" folk—so much so, in fact, that you want to help them expand their notion of family so that they are no longer using Paleolithic Era concepts. Families come in all sizes and shapes.