3 January 2004



Dear Afghanistan,

Thank you for letting us come in, topple the Tallyban, and route Al Kayda   Quida   Cayduh those other guys. While Osama Bin Laden proved too slippery for us, we were able to divert the world’s attention from our little failure in that regard by villyfrying   villuhfieying making Saddam Hussein into an actual threat. Since we now have Hussein, we have been proven completely correct and moral and we can ignore all those annoying questions about WMDs and such. But because SUV and Hummer sales here are really soaring, and we still can’t find Osama, we’re looking around for another nasty evil villain. Syria and Iran top our list, but we are willing to listen if you have any suggestions.

I know we promised to bring you freedom and stability and to rebuild your country, but we find that the peoples of Iraq have been far more oppressed and in much greater need of our Halliburtons and our Bechtels. So goodbye and good luck.

Yours,



Dubya



P.S. Write if you find oil.



The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington - D.C. 20500